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Creating the experience of love is the key to healing any relationship
Love by itself is never enough to have a relationship work. The divorce courts are full of people who love each other. The key to having a great relationship is to make sure the other person feels loved. This is also true if you want to divorce as friends or save your marriage.
When the experience of love is present you are happy, alive, and free. You feel good about yourself and good about life. You are confident, creative, and very effective. You radiate a very positive energy and great things happen around you. This is the experience of love.
This is also the happiness that we seek. It’s what we want in our relationships and in our lives. So what creates the experience of love? The experience of love is created by giving the gift of acceptance and appreciation.
See this in your life
To see this in your life, notice how you feel when someone genuinely accepts and appreciates you. Doesn't this feel good? Of course it does. You feel better about yourself and better about life. You also feel better about the other person.
The same thing happens when you accept and appreciate someone else. That person automatically feels better about life and better about you. By giving acceptance and appreciation, you create the experience of love.
Now notice how you feel when someone is non-accepting, critical, or controlling toward you. Instantly, the experience of love disappears. You get hurt and upset. You put up your walls of protection and automatically resist the person who is non-accepting toward you.
The same thing happens when you are non-accepting toward someone else. That person gets upset, puts up his or her walls of protection, and automatically becomes critical and resentful toward you. Then you get hurt and become more critical of the other person. Then the other person gets more upset and becomes more critical of you. Then you get more upset at the other person.
Without knowing, you create a cycle of conflict, a cycle of hurting, attacking, and withdrawing from each other. This cycle then goes on and on without either person ever noticing his or her role in the problem. It's this cycle of conflict that creates the suffering in relationships.
To end the cycle of conflict, or to make sure it never starts, make sure the other person feels loved, accepted, and appreciated. This is the key to having any relationship work. It's also the key to healing difficult relationships.
Acceptance is surrendering to the truth
Unfortunately, some people are very difficult to accept. Fortunately, acceptance is nothing more than surrendering to the truth. The people in your life are the way they are whether you like it or not.
Accepting someone is doesn't mean that you like the way the person is or that you condone what the person does. It doesn't mean you have to live with the person either. You can accept the way someone is and let the person be that way somewhere else.
Acceptance is letting go of your demands and expectations for how the person should be. It's letting go of the criticalness and the non-acceptance that destroys love and creates conflict. When you surrender to the truth of the way someone is, you can see the truth. When you can see the truth, you can see what you need to do. You can also act in a way that creates the experience of love.
This is important because every time you interact with someone, you are either going to create love or destroy it, and whatever you give is going to come right back. If you want your life to be a lot easier, do everything you can to put water on the fire instead of more fuel.
As the person feels loved and empowered, that person will automatically feel better about you and become a lot more interested in making you happy. Sometimes this happens overnight, sometimes it happens over time, but it always happens.
If you are not already taking our free Mastery of Life E-course, make sure you get it. This weekly course walks you through a step-by-step discovery process will change your life.
Watch the video and learn more about
the experience of love
This video is from the Mastery of Life Video Course
Are you having a difficult time?
Would you like to end the conflict, heal the hurt, and restore your inner peace? Would you like to heal your relationship? You can. The best way to do this is to work directly with Bill Ferguson. Give us a call. We can talk about your situation and create a plan of action.