Get on with your life
Take the following action to
create a new life
The end of a marriage can be very painful, but it's not the end of the world. Eventually, you'll get past your hurt and create a new life. How long it takes to accomplish this is up to you. To have it be fast, take the following steps:
Create a new life
No matter what has happened in your past, your future is always a clean slate. Now, more than ever, you have the opportunity to create the life of your dreams. The first step in creating your life is to find what you want. How do you want your life to be? What do you want to have? What do you want to do? Get clear on what you want. Then start taking the steps you need to have your dreams come true.
Life is like being in a swimming pool. As long as you are swimming, you'll stay above water, but as soon as you stop swimming, you'll start to sink. The same thing happens in life. As long as you are active and moving forward, you'll stay above water, but as soon as you withdraw, you'll start to sink.
The more you withdraw, the more life stops working. The more life stops working, the more you withdraw. This creates a downward cycle that leads to depression and a very painful life. So don't withdraw. Be active.
Look for things you can do that bring you joy. Then do them as often as you can. Create a life of fun and adventure.
Be willing to feel your hurt
After a breakup, you are likely to experience waves of hurt. This isn't bad news, this is good news. This is true because every wave of hurt is an opportunity for more healing. Whenever you feel sadness, that hurt is coming up to be released. If you feel your hurt willingly like a child, the hurt will come and go. If you fight the hurt, it will turn into pain and stay.
So allow yourself to feel your hurt. Whenever the hurt comes up, reach in, grab it, and pull it out. Feel it deliberately and purposefully. Feel the hurt of your circumstances and the deeper hurt of feeling worthless, not good enough, or not worth loving. Cry if you can. If there aren’t any real tears, fake the tears. Let the hurt come and let it go.
When you feel your hurt willingly like a child, you not only heal the hurt of the moment, but you also heal some of the hurt from your past. You gain more peace of mind and life works better.
Don't jump into a new relationship
When a relationship ends, we often want to get into another relationship as fast as we can. We do this to avoid our hurt. Although this may bring some temporary relief, the avoidance of this hurt tends to create more suffering in the long run. This is true for several reasons.
First, the more eager you are to find a new relationship, the less patience you'll have to find the person who is right for you. You are likely to end up in a relationship that doesn't support you. Second, the moment you step into another relationship, the hurt that you've been avoiding is no longer being triggered. It goes back down and the healing process stops.
The hurt that you have been experiencing is an old hurt that is now being reactivated. This hurt has been sabotaging you and your relationships for years and now it's in your face. Feeling this hurt may be uncomfortable, but it's the key to a major healing.
Allow yourself to feel this hurt willingly like a child and put your focus on creating a life that you enjoy. As you do this, the hurt loses power and quickly disappears. You will then have more peace of mind and be in a much better position to find the relationship of your dreams.
Focus on the opportunity
When you started your relationship, you certainly never planned for it to end, but this is what happened. Now you have a choice. You can either consider your new situation as an opportunity or as a predicament.
Whichever you choose is what you'll get. If you focus on the opportunity, life will open up and great things will happen. If you focus on the predicament, you'll get more suffering.
So focus on the opportunity. Look for what's possible and take the steps you need to have your dreams come true. There is nothing you can do about your past, but there is a lot you can do about your future. Have your life be great.
To learn more about how to have your life be great, get the Mastery of Life Video Course and read the book, Miracles Are Guaranteed. If you are not already taking our free Mastery of Life E-course, make sure you get it. It walks you through a step-by-step discovery process will change your life.
How We Can Support You
You can heal your relationship, resolve problem areas, and create an incredible life. Bill Ferguson can show you how. Read more or give us a call.