Dealing With Divorce Attorneys

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There are countless individuals who have gone to an attorney for an uncontested divorce only to have it become contested overnight.

Our society is adversarial, promoting the unconscious notion that whenever there is a dispute, sides have to be drawn. One side will then end up on top and the other on the bottom. To make sure you are not the one on the bottom, you need to fight to protect yourself.

This is what our attorneys have been taught. They believe that the best way to take care of their clients is to fight for them.

When attorneys look at divorce, all they see is the warfare that is all around them. When they look at this condition, it seems obvious that people have to fight to protect themselves. They don't notice that the condition they observe is their own creation. This warfare is created by their own adversariness and we demand it.

As a culture, we don't notice the hurt and suffering that is created by an adversarial system. We don't notice the damage it does to relationships and to people's well-being.

Adversariness may have been needed at some point in time, but now it's outdated. Now we can take the focus off of winning and direct our efforts toward finding solutions that work for everyone. It is far more important to be a peacemaker than to be an adversary.

Whenever an attorney is committed to ending adversariness and furthering everyone's well-being, he makes a very special contribution to the world. He minimizes conflict, resolves issues, and promotes the healing of relationships. He makes the world a better place for all of us.

This type of attorney is truly needed. If you are going to get a divorce, look for one like this. Unfortunately, there aren't very many of them. Fortunately, their numbers are growing rapidly. If you find one, you will be in good hands. Usually, attorneys that do divorce mediation are more inclined to be non-adversarial. Call your local bar association for a list of names.

If you can't find a non-adversarial attorney, you will have to do the best you can. Make sure you stay out of the legal system as much as you can.

Select an attorney. Have him file the petition and start the waiting period. Get all the legal advice and information that you can. Find out what questions need to be resolved. Then go home and resolve them.

When you have an agreement that works for both of you, take it back to the attorney. Let him review it and do the paper work.

Learn how to get a divorce using only one attorney.

To the extent you are able to resolve these issues by yourself, the legal process will go quickly. When you let adversarial attorneys resolve your issues, you are asking for trouble. Your case can go on forever and cost a fortune in legal fees, not to mention the cost in well being.

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