Heal hurt and release
When you are free of hurt and negative emotion, you see clearly and can see what needs to be done
On the surface, we resist certain circumstances, but at a deeper level, we don’t resist the circumstances. We resist the emotion. To see this in your life, find a time when you were upset. Then notice the emotion that you felt. It's the automatic avoidance of this hurt that gets us in trouble.
When this emotion takes over, it makes life very uncomfortable. It destroys our ability to see clearly and forces destructive behavior. The automatic avoidance of this hurt creates unbelievable suffering and we don’t even notice that it exists. All we notice is our circumstances. We are convinced that our circumstances are the problem. To avoid this perceived threat, we fight, resist, hang on, and withdraw. We destroy love and sabotage our lives.
If you could look past your circumstances and go to the hurt, your circumstances would lose power. If you took it a step further and felt the hurt willingly like a child, you would release the emotion and restore your inner peace. You would be a lot more effective and your life would be a lot more enjoyable.
How to release emotion
The best way to learn how to release this emotion is to look at little children. Little children are masters at healing hurt. When a child feels hurt, the child cries. Then, after the child finishes crying, the hurt is all gone. Little children are able to release their hurt quickly because they do something that we don't notice. They feel their hurt willingly. This allows the hurt to run its course. It comes and then it goes.
Find a time when you were hurt and you allowed yourself to cry. Then, after you cried the last tear, you felt a wonderful freedom. This is a time when you felt your hurt willingly. The hurt came, ran its course, and left. This is the natural process for healing hurt, but our culture teaches us to do something very different. Instead of learning that it is okay to feel our hurt, we have been taught to fight it.
"Big boys and girls don't cry. We have been taught to suppress our hurt. This destroys the natural healing process. Instead of feeling our hurt willingly like a child and letting it go, we fight the hurt and keep it inside. The hurt then turns into pain and we spend the rest of our lives running from it. This in turn creates more of the very hurt that we are avoiding.
Look for opportunities to heal
The first part of our lives have been spend running from our hurt. We think that we will be able to escape it, but we can't. Everything we do to avoid it ultimately creates more of it. We can't escape it, but we can heal it. We can be free of it.
Instead of running from your hurt, go looking for it. Welcome opportunities for more healing. The more you get this destructive suppressed emotion out of you, the more you will be able to flow with life and the better your life will be.
A good way to heal more hurt is to work with your upsets. Every time you get upset, some hurt has just been triggered and brought to the surface.
To use an upset for more healing, go to the hurt that is under the upset. Then and dive into it. Cry it as hard as you can. If there aren’t any real tears, fake the tears. Faking the tears coupled with an exaggeration of the emotion is just as powerful as the real tears.
Feel the hurt willingly, deliberately, and purposefully. Feel it because you want to. Reach in, grab the hurt, and pull it out. This allows the hurt to come and go quickly. Feel the hurt of your circumstances and the deeper, more painful hurt of feeling worthless, not worth loving, failure, not good enough, or whatever your deeper hurt is. Let the hurt take over. Let it come and let it go.
As you release the hurt, you will feel a wonderful freedom. There will be less hurt to get triggered in the future and you will be more effective in handling your situation.
The most important thing to remember is to feel your hurt deliberately and purposefully. Feel it because you want to. This is the key to a fast healing. When you feel the hurt as a victim of your circumstances, because you feel forced to, you can cry hours a day for months and have little or no healing.
In the next article, we’ll talk about how to find and heal the childhood hurt that destroys love and creates all of your suffering. Finding and healing this deeper hurt is one of the most important things you can ever do.
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