When you have a resentment, a major part of you closes down. You become bitter and less able to express your love. You lose your aliveness and your joy for life. You put up walls of protection. You destroy love and you make your life more difficult.

Letting go of a resentment is not for the benefit of the other person. It's for you.

When you resent someone, you are saying very forcefully, that the other person is the problem, the cause and the fault. Not you. You forcefully blame the other person so you don't have to look at yourself.

If you looked at yourself, you would have to feel all the hurt from what happened. You would have to feel all the hurt of feeling not good enough, not worth loving or some other form of "not okay". In an automatic, subconscious attempt to avoid this hurt, you resent.

The first step in releasing a resentment is to find and heal this hurt. Go to the hurt that’s under the resentment and ask what those circumstances say about you.

Do they say that you are worthless, not worth loving or not good enough? Find the hurt that is under your resentment. Then dive into the hurt and feel it willingly like a child. Cry if you can.

To learn more about healing this hurt, read the articles, Heal The Hurt and Find Your Inner Issues.

Watch Bill talk about these inner core issues.

Once you are willing to feel this hurt, you no longer need to avoid it. The need for the resentment then disappears.

The next step is to notice that the person you resent has a very particular state of mind, a very limited awareness, and a very particular way of seeing life.

Notice that if this person was wiser and more aware, then he or she would be able to act in a very different way. But the person isn't wiser and more aware. This person has very limited ability and a very limited way of seeing life.

If you look, this person is doing the very best he or she can with his or her very limited ability. Notice how much this person suffers as a result of this limited awareness.

Now ask yourself, Are you willing to forgive this person for not being wiser and more aware? Are you willing to forgive this person for acting consistent with his or her limited ability? Are you willing for forgive this person for whatever damage he or she caused?

You might as well. Your resentment certainly doesn’t change anything.

Remember that forgiveness is for the benefit of you, not the other person. Forgiveness is also a choice. Let go of your resentment because you choose to. Then get on with your life.

Go to the next article - End conflict

The information in these articles is valuable, but knowing it intellectually won’t change your life. Getting it in your heart will. That’s the purpose of our work.

If you want to make a profound difference in your relationships, attend our workshops, make an appointment for individual support, get the Mastery of Life Audio Course, and visit our bookstore.

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